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Alzheimer’s Caregiving

Alzheimer's Caregiving: Caring for Yourself

Taking care of yourself—physically and mentally—is one of the most important things you can do as a caregiver. This could mean asking family members and friends to help out, doing things you enjoy, or getting help from a home health care service. Taking these actions can bring you some relief. It also may help keep you from getting ill or depressed.Man sitting with back to camera at the beach

Ways to Take Care of Yourself

Here are some ways you can take care of yourself:

Asking for Help

Everyone needs help at times. However, many caregivers find it hard to ask for help. They may feel they should be able to do everything themselves, or that it's not all right to leave the person in their care with someone else. Or maybe they can’t afford to pay someone to watch the person for an hour or two.

Here are some tips about asking for help:

  • Remind yourself that it's okay to ask for help from family, friends, and others. You don't have to do everything yourself.
  • Ask people to help out in specific ways, like making a meal, visiting the person, or taking the person out for a short time.
  • Call for help from home health care or adult day care services when needed. To find providers in your area, contact Eldercare Locator.
  • Use national and local resources to find out how to pay for some of this help, or get respite care services.

You may want to join a support group of Alzheimer’s disease caregivers. These groups meet in person or online to share experiences and tips and give each other support. Ask your doctor, check online, or contact the local chapter of the Alzheimer's Association.

Coping with Emotions and Stress

Caring for a person with Alzheimer’s takes a lot of time and effort. Your job can become even harder when the person gets angry with you, hurts your feelings, or forgets who you are. Sometimes, you may feel discouraged, sad, lonely, frustrated, confused, or angry. These feelings are normal.

Here are some things you can say to yourself that might help you feel better:

  • I'm doing the best I can.
  • What I'm doing would be hard for anyone.
  • I'm not perfect, and that's okay.
  • I can't control some things that happen.
  • Sometimes, I just need to do what works for right now.
  • I will enjoy the moments when we can be together in peace.
  • Even when I do everything I can think of, the person with Alzheimer’s disease will still have problem behaviors because of the illness, not because of what I do.
  • I will try to get help from a counselor if caregiving becomes too much for me.
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Some caregivers find that going to a church, temple, or mosque helps them cope with the daily demands placed on them. For others, simply having a sense that larger forces are at work in the world helps them find a sense of balance and peace.

For more information on coping, explore these resources for relieving stress and anxiety for Alzheimer’s caregivers.

Getting Professional Help

Mental health professionals and social workers help you deal with any stress you may be feeling. They help you understand feelings, such as anger, sadness, or feeling out of control. They can also help you make plans for unexpected or sudden events.

Mental health professionals charge by the hour. Medicare, Medicaid, and some private health insurance plans may cover some of these costs. Ask your health insurance plan which mental health counselors and services it covers. Then check with your doctor, local family service agencies, and community mental health agencies for referrals to counselors.

More Tips for Self-Care

Here are other things to keep in mind as you take care of yourself:

  • Understand that you may feel powerless and hopeless about what's happening to the person you care for.
  • Understand that you may feel a sense of loss and sadness.
  • Understand why you've chosen to take care of the person with Alzheimer’s disease. Ask yourself if you made this choice out of love, loyalty, a sense of duty, a religious obligation, financial concerns, fear, a habit, or self-punishment.
  • Let yourself feel day-to-day "uplifts." These might include good feelings about the person you care for, support from other people, or time spent on your own interests.

Read about this topic in Spanish. Lea sobre este tema en español.

For More Information About Caring for Yourself

NIA Alzheimer’s and related Dementias Education and Referral (ADEAR) Center
1-800-438-4380 (toll-free)
adear@nia.nih.gov
www.nia.nih.gov/alzheimers
The National Institute on Aging’s ADEAR Center offers information and free print publications about Alzheimer’s disease and related dementias for families, caregivers, and health professionals. ADEAR Center staff answer telephone, email, and written requests and make referrals to local and national resources.

Family Caregiver Alliance
1-800-445-8106 (toll-free)
info@caregiver.org
www.caregiver.org

Eldercare Locator
1-800-677-1116 (toll-free)
www.eldercare.gov

National Alliance for Caregiving
1-301-718-8444
info@caregiving.org
www.caregiving.org

Alzheimer's Association
1-800-272-3900 (toll-free, 24/7) 
1-866-403-3073 (TTY/toll-free)
info@alz.org
www.alz.org


Updated: July 25, 2017

If you are interested in learning more about Alzheimer's & Dementia, please call us at 1-800-438-4380, Mon-Fri, 8:30 am-5:00 pm Eastern Time or send an email to adear@nia.nih.gov